The Four Parenting Styles
All we want as parents are to do the best job that we can to raise our kids to be kind and responsible. But honestly, most of the time we feel like we are just winging it. One thing that definitely can help us to understand the basics is to know the four different parenting styles. Once we know and understand the basics, we can work to make changes to the way we parent. Studies have shown that there really is just one parenting style that works best. Most of our parenting skills come from the modeling of our own parents or caregivers. How each child is parenting can affect them in numerous ways. It can affect their personality and ability to function. A parenting style is an emotional climate in which parents raise their kids.
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The four major parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and uninvolved.
- Authoritative parents are warm yet still uphold structure and rules. While trying to understand their child’s emotional needs, they provide a stable environment with clear boundaries. They have high expectations. They talk to their children, listen and try to understand while still upholding rules.
- Authoritarian parents are very strict. These children may seem very well behaved, but they often grow up to have poor social skills, low self-esteem, and anxiety. Authoritative parents often use physical punishment. Authoritarian parents use psychological control.
- Permissive parents often engage in a power struggle with their children. These children often have a sense of entitlement due to the lack of structure and consequences. They often rebel. These children may behave worse than children of authoritarian parents, but they will develop better social skills.
- Uninvolved parents do the most damage to their children. Thier lack of involvement with their child can cause emotional problems that can start as early as preschool. Every household is different, so these parenting styles may look different in different homes.
Authoritative parenting is the best parenting style. Children receive the boundaries and attention that they need. Authoritative parents respond to the child’s emotional needs while upholding standards. Consistency is the key to authoritative parenting style. Studies have shown that children raised by authoritative parents tend to be independent and have good social skills. These children tend to be happy and have good emotional regulation.
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Authoritarian parents often demand blind obedience. For example, an authoritative parent would explain and discuss household rules so the child would understand. In contrast, an authoritarian parent would not give any explanation and may use phrases like, “because I said so”.
Permissive parents may make rules then allow them to be broken or maybe not even make rules at all. Neglectful parents would ignore their children when they misbehave.
Of the four parenting styles, often parents use a combination, depending on the situation and the child. There is no such thing as the perfect parent and there is no such thing a bad child. Our job as parents is to do the best that we can. If you are reading this and starting to question yourself, just remember it is never too late to change your parenting style.
I feel like I am always learning and self-correcting. Just when I think I have it all figured out, life throws me a curve ball. My children are all so different. What works for one may not work with another. One of the most important things I have learned is to respect and nurture their individuality.
For more great articles on parenting check out some of the links below